In keeping with my word for the year, “awareness” (of the Divine), I’m launching into some pretty heavy contemplative books. You know, giving the roots an opportunity to grow deeper. I’m a little bit nervous. To be clear, I’m not called to be a nun, to the relief of my husband. And if I were a nun, I’d be the “Sister Act” variety anyway. But I’m seeking more depth. The kind that’s available to all of us. And that isn’t to be taken lightly, because what I’m asking for, I’ll receive.
I have a fair amount of head knowledge about the Bible, but more and more I bump into portions I’ve misunderstood in the past. For example, hellfire and damnation. I recently did a scriptural word study on the recipients of God’s disdain…and found that he isn’t too happy with hypocrites and holier-than-thou’s. Matt. 8:12, 13:42, 13:50, 22:13, 24:51, 25:30, Luke 13:28. You decide.
Seems God is WAY more into love than we give him credit for. I need more depth so I can understand him better and appraise things more accurately. So being nervous about the Divine isn’t a bad thing. It’s the opposite. It’s more like starting to bounce up and down on my tippy-toes.
But I’m not naïve. Depth won’t skip over the parts that aren’t a bed of roses. It will incorporate them.
I don’t know what to expect. Well, yes I do. A deeper understanding of Love.
Whatever that means.