I was once chastised for the language I used in the newsletters of a Christian ministry I directed. But it’s not what you think. I was chastised for not using ecclesiastical language. Instead of starting out with “Greetings in the Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” I would say something like “Hi Everybody.”

I’m such a bad person.

(Sometimes I don’t fit in.)

I’m often an outsider. In high school, I wasn’t cool enough to be an insider. In my early years of marriage, I wasn’t able to conceive, but every other woman in the universe (or so it seemed) was pregnant. Politically, I’m an outsider in my evangelical circles. 

I guess we all feel it sometimes. A tough choice ostracizes us. A rejection makes us doubt ourselves. Quarantine feels like that horror movie where the walls start closing in. Sometimes we’re even around people and still feel lonely…not understood…not important enough to be heard.

Don’t get me wrong. I feel immensely loved…but if you’re like me, there are times when life is tough and we need a big spiritual reality to see us through. For me, that reality is one of life’s most beautiful mysteries–that we’re known and loved by God, even if we don’t feel it or barely believe it. Jesus said this at the end of the book of Matthew. “I am with you always…even to the end of the age.”

When I spend time in that space, I’m changed.